Worked 10 hours today, 4:45 am until 3:15 pm, learning to set up the dialysis machine. It is very complicated, but I'm finally getting it. It's amazing that anyone ever came up with the ability to create a machine that does that. I never knew how amazing dialysis was. My patients in the hospital would just leave for a few hours, come back, and that would be that. I had no idea. Or how dangerous it is. If one little thing isn't programmed right, or is set up wrong, someone dies in moments. They told us about a patient a few years ago whose access needles in his fistula came out while he was sleeping in the chair being dialyzed. No one knew the needles came out because he had been cold and was completely covered up with 2 blankets. The machine kept pulling blood out and pumped his blood at a liter a minute into his blankets. He bled out and died in about a minute and a half. I had no idea.
I always loved OB. Everything about it. I thought it was the only thing I could be passionate about. I never thought I would love this and find it fascinating. I really am loving my job. I don't dread going. I love what I'm learning. I love the patients. I love my job again. You have no idea how that feels. I thought I was stuck being miserable for the rest of my life. I hated my job just a few short weeks ago. I can't even describe it.
Between leaving the religion I was in, and leaving County, I have found a new peace and love for life and who I am. I just realized the combined effect of both of those things. I feel like a whole new and different person.
I rode the bus today. In 118 degree heat. And instead of being pissed, and irritated, and feeling sorry for myself for not having a second car, and being irritated with all those "nasty" people on the bus - it did something different to me. I felt so fortunate. The little kids who have to wait in the heat and ride the bus, the poor, the sick, the people in wheelchairs. And how they must feel when the whole entire bus load of people is irritated at them and wishing they weren't there because it takes so long to get them situated on the bus. How they must feel. And some of them most likely Vets who lost their legs in war time. I have legs. I have freedom.
The bus is full of throw away people. And today I didn't see them that way. This is the kind of change that is happening to me.
And I think Royce is going to be hired by the same company as a Dialysis Tech at a different clinic. He will be so good at this. Patients will love him. He will make more money, and we will have better hours and get to see each other more. Every night.
I actually have every night to see my kids. Like I did today. And will tomorrow. And every other day of my life.
The getting up at 3 am to be there at 4:45 is the only part that is killing me.
I actually want to go to work tomorrow though. Yeah me!!!
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Throw away people. How amazing the way we view others sometimes. I do the same thing every day. I live "downtown" a once happening spot. I live where the city hall is, the police station, library... bus station and tons of homeless people. Sometimes I wonder who'd miss em if I nailed one with my car, and know what? Someone would. I had an uncle, when he was born, the nurse was scared because the doctor wasn't there and she crossed my grandmother's legs and my uncle was mildly retarted from it. Lack of oxygen to the brain. Long story short, in his 50's he lived in a halfway house downtown and sat on the benches with the homeless people and probably was seen as one himself. Oddly enough, he was struck by a car and killed 15 years ago, and when his obit went into the paper, my other uncle made sure the paper stated that he had family and a home and that we loved him, because we did.
I'll blog more on this at my place.
and the legs thing.... you wake up every morning and have working legs... I thank the Maker for that every day, too.
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