So the last couple of days I have been 179. Have not been exercizing. Have not been good. I've got to start exercizing. Maybe in the morning.
A weird thing happened the other day. We were at home, the kids were watching a disney movie or something, we were looking for what else was on. Sydney said, "The Prince of Egypt." I loved that movie when it came out, and I excitedly replied, "ooooh, lets watch that one." So they turned it on. I remember loving the music, the way the story was told, just everything about it. But I found myself this time sitting on the couch, just kind of sad. I was watching the same movie, the same scenes that used to move me so much, and now it just felt like something I "used" to have. I used to tell the kids when they were little, how it was a true story, and I loved that about it. This time I just sat there, didn't have anything to say to them. Didn't know WHAT TO say to them. So I didn't. It was just sad. I think it was the scene where Moses came back, and was talking to Ramses, right after the snakes and the magic. I had such a horrible lost feeling, remembering what it used to mean, and what my reality is now, that I had to get up and go into the bedroom so the kids couldn't see me cry. I just went into the room and sobbed a little. I have lost so much.
How wonderful it would be to believe that story again.
But whats done is done.
We watched Narnia last night. A little of the same, but not so much. There is a definate sadness with the loss of belief. An empty space.
Still liked the movie though. The animals were great. And that little girl who played Lucy was so cute. I love the actress who plays the white witch, who also played Gabriel in Constantine. She is so good.
I guess I will have to replace that empty spot.

4 Comments:
any time we have a part of us taken away, by choice or not, it leaves a void. - nic
What seems like a long time ago and in a peculiar place there was this wonderful woman. She like all people went astray, she felt like she was so far astray that she would never find her way back... and for that matter who would want to go back?
As she adventured in life exploring all the nooks and crannies she came across so many amazing things! She traveled and traveled, she experienced more and more, her thoughts grew, and she towered over her former self.
Sometimes she thought back to the peculiar place, those thoughts sometimes stirred within her melancholy, anger, or a blush of other emotions. She was determined not to go back to that peculiar place.
The wonderful woman noticed as she walked through life that things were often not what they seemed. When she shone her flashlight of thought into the corners or under the stairs she would clearly see evil and sometimes good, but things were not always what they appeared.
Then one day on one of her adventures as the wonderful woman came over a ridge of her thoughts and her life she saw what seemed to be the peculiar place. She thought of turning around but then she noticed that this was not that place. This place was very different. Her old thoughts about the peculiar place had made her think this new place was the old but it most definitely was not the peculiar place.
As she came closer to the new place, the place over the ridge of her thoughts and life, she saw multitudes of astonishing children running out to her, calling her by name. They had broad genuine knowing smiles, kind words, giggling laughter, and hearts of love and compassion.
The wonderful woman was stunned; she didn’t know what to make of this adventure, of thought and life. The children crowded around her, they gently and joyously held her hands. She walked over to the new place surrounded by the children.
The wonderful woman looked down into the face of a little girl. The little girl pointed to a sign at the door of the new place, the place over a ridge of her thoughts and her life.
The wonderful woman walked over to read the sign; she used her flashlight of thoughts and life, she didn’t want to miss looking in the corners or under the stairs.
The sign was easy to read, she didn’t need her flashlight. Dear Wonderful Woman; when you were in the peculiar place perhaps you thought you were here. You went into the world adventuring, building your own personal legend. What adventures you have had! You never wanted to go back to the peculiar place… and this is good because the peculiar place is not for you. When you first saw the new place you thought it was the old place, but the old place is about doing; and the new place is about being. They may look similar, at first glance, over a ridge, with a flashlight, but they are so very different. You see the peculiar place was just another one of your adventures, another nook or cranny, the old you, but this new place is your home, for the new you, a home with no nooks or crannies, a home that is not about doing but being.
The wonderful woman hesitated but then trusted that this was true.
Then the wonderful woman was awestruck, for she also was now one of the delightful children, life was new, different, she was a new person in a new place, the light in her life was around her making her flashlight seem dull, all because she new that the sign was true. The tower of herself was gone and the child of herself was free, she knew that everything she would now be doing was more opulent because the things she would be doing would be infused by the being and this was held together by the Light. Her life was now the ultimate adventure of being; being is far more exciting than doing…
An original story for you,
Livingsword
The Prince of Egypt is a true story. All but one of the mummies of all the Pharoahs of Egypt have been found. The one missing is Queen Hat-chap-sus (not sure of spelling)whose body was killed and destroyed by Pharoah Tutmoses the 3rd because she wanted to put Moses to the throne of Pharaoh. The Egyptian historical inscriptions tells us the date of his death was March 17th 1450 B.C. Which is the exact date of the Jewish Passover. The day that God delivered his people from the Egyptians through the Red Sea by the hand of Moses.
About the magicians and their snakes. Whilst they could copy, they could not create. That's why when Moses's rod was put down, it turned into a real snake to swallow up the counterfeits.
There is only one CREATOR and Revelation 14:7 is shouting it with a LOUD voice to the whole world to worship HIM who made Heaven and Earth, the Sea and the Fountains of Waters...this is JESUS CHRIST.
It's not too late.....
I can SO relate to your feelings here!
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