Weight, School, and Homer

Nikki, your new blog is inspiring me. I've been so busy lately, with kids and everything, just haven't been careful with trying to lose weight. But I don't feel good, or like how I look, so I'm going to start. I believe in the honesty thing too. Since my highest weight, and since being sick this last summer, I've managed to keep off 18 pounds. I am right at 185 (yes, I got up to 203 - there, it's out). And I know keeping the 18 off is good, and it's also good that I'm better and can finally eat again - I know that I need to start working at it again. I'm just not who I want to be or who I know I can be. Robin is still staying with me. Which is nice for me. And we go and do things sometimes, money and time permitting ( we have 9 kids between us). So I took her to Bombshells the other day - I hadn't been for a long time, but everyone still knows me in there. Then we went to another one just to compare the two. Just being in there makes me want to get in shape and look different. Why not? I'm not 18 anymore, but you know what, neither are some of those girls. So. I've decided things must change.

I'm not going to do anything fancy. Just food in and energy out - you know, the only thing that really works anyhow. So going to keep track of calories, and move more.

Had California roles today - live them so much with soy and wasabe - first time I ate today, 480 calories. And had a coke. Ever since I was so sick, started drinking alot of soda, started when it was the only thing I could keep down all day. Then became habit. It's a hard one. So, another 240 cals. So far today = 720 calories.
And I will walk today. I'm going to go for a pound a week. Simple like that.


Just have to mention the girl's school. The little kids are going to the same charter school they went to last year. But this year Syd and Lynds wanted to go to Tyler's school, and I wanted them to go there. It's a performing arts school. I'm so thrilled with it. We don't have a car right now, so it entails getting to the lightrail and riding it to and from everyday - and I don't want them doing that alone so I go with them in the mornings, ride it back home, then ride it back in the afternoons and ride it back with them. But it is so worth it. I love it. Lyndsey is in a basic music theory class and a visual arts class along with all the academic classes (6th grade) and Syd (9th) is taking ceramics, drama, guitar, and photography, along with geometry and English and all the rest. And she's starting American Lit with Steinbeck - The Grapes of Wrath. I just know their high school experience is going to be so different than mine. So good. And Tyler's senior english classes are transferring as college credits fir ENG 101 and ENG 102. Batta Boom - a whole year of college English out of the way. I'm so glad I could help them have this high school experience. I'm just very stoked about it.

I've been divorced from Kirk for almost 10 years now. I never asked him for anything, no child support - the court made me set that up in order to get divorced. So for the last 9 years I've been getting $100 a week for 3 kids. I know, can you even believe that ridiculous amount? But I never complained or asked for more. I think one time I asked fir groceries over and above the child support. Let's all remember that Kirk supports one person, himself, has NEVER fulfilled the time requirements of the judges degree, which was to puck the kids up from school every Wednesday, spend the evening with them until like 8 pm, the have them every other weekend from
Friday until Sunday - yes, overnight. And to pay for their medical insurance, and half of all transportation and medical expenses. Yeah, none of this ever happened. He covered their insurance for awhile until he said it was too expensive, informed me they weren't covered, and never once in 10 years has had them stay overnight - he never had a place with a bedroom for them. His typical visitation has been about everyother week like on a sat or sun, pick them up, go to like mcdonald or dairy queen or target, or sit at his house, never for more than like 4 hours. And for the last few years Tyler won't even do that. I never pushed it cause they never wanted to stay or sleep at his house. I never wanted them to feel like I was trying to get rid of them. So I let him come and go as he pleased. Liking it that they would rather be with me. But since April, when he lost his job and started another one - the messily $400 a month quit coming. Now that I have 2 in high school and lynds in 6th, it is so expensive. I've been communicating this lately. He is such a fucking loser. And now he's gone and bought a one bedroom house in the ghetto. It is kinda funny now, that since he list his "good job" cause he pissed someone off ( big surprise there), that all the things he used to put me down for and make fun of me for are happening to him. My house in a bad neighborhood? He is officially in the ghetto now. Ha!!! Hated my Mexican infested neighborhood? I doubt any of his neighbors speak English now. And if they do they are crackheads. Made fun of my car - now he's driving like an 88 cutlass - got his pretty sportscar and tyler's reposessed. Yeah, keep laughing at me buddy.

And the next time you tell me you can't help with lunch money or food, look in the mirror. Obviously you're eating - Jaba.

Just sayin. That felt good :)