Dear Dad

Happy Earth Day Everyone!!!!

Sydney planted a tree today at school, and Lyndsey planted a flower.

Here in Phoenix there was a scheduled hour black out at I think 8 pm.

I heard today that a million plastic bags are handed out, was it every minute?

Amazing.

Phoenix did not comply with the whole "Beautiful Earth" thing today.

It was I believe 105. Way to hot for April.

Someday...............

Someday we will live where it rains. And is cool. Even cold.

************************************************************************************************

Got to meet with Sarah and Lisa for dinner on Sunday.

Went to a really nice fish place.

We have plans to go out again in 2 weeks, this time to Casey Moore's.

************************************************************************************************

Just finished "Dry" by Augusten Burroughs.

(He wrote Running With Scissors too)

I bought "Twilight" today.

Get to start it after work in the morning.

*********************************************************************************************

Finally found a doctor - however my meds run out before my appt.

Nice.

Have seen my therapist 3 times now.

I think I'll keep him.

My assignment last week was to write a letter to my Dad,

if I could really give it to him. And to read it out loud.

It was painful - I cried the whole way through it.

Now this week its to write one to my mom.

Yeah, lots of fun stuff - why didn't I do therapy sooner?????

(Sense the Dark Sarcasm in the Classroom???)

Letter to my Dad:

Dear Dad,

I'm so glad I get one more chance to talk to you. It has been 2 and a half years since I saw you last. I miss you very much. I always knew that it would be hard, I just didn't know how hard. Its been over 2 years and I still tear up when I think or talk about you. I think we all do. You left a very big hole when you left. The house still does not seem right without you in it. Your pictures are all over the house. Mom misses you so much. We all miss you so much. For 2 years I didn't let myself feel sad about you. I have spent most of the time you've been gone being numb. But I'm letting myself feel now. The kids still talk about you, but I think Ryan misses you the most. I know he does. He talks about you a lot. He sleeps by mom a lot in your bed. If there is a heaven I know you are there, and if there is not I know you are in a beautiful place. You deserve to be in the best place, wherever it is. I know you left us with a peaceful mind, no unfinished business or any regrets, because you lived every day peaceful. I'm so glad I got that night I spent with you. Not many people get that chance and I was lucky. I would give anything to be able to see you or talk to you one more time. If there is any way to communicate with me please try. I'm sorry that I wasn't there the moment you left. Peggy was there though. I have some of your things, your lunchbox, your belt, and one of your hats, among other things, in my room in a special place. One thing I still have and will always have is knowing what the right thing to do every time is, if I just ask myself "What would Dad do?" I'm not sure what else to say to you. I wish I could talk to you face to face. I just want you to know how much we all miss you and that we all think about you every day. I hope somehow I can see you again someday. When someone good like you is gone, the world is just not the same place. Thank you for being my Dad and for being such a good dad. You will always be my Superman.

I love you Dad.

I'm pretty sure I won't publish my mom's letter here.

Happy Earth Day everyone.