Friends, New Books, Kids, and Day 17

First of all, thank you Stephanie for your comment. There is always a little stab of paranoia when I realize what you know about me. Especially the whole detox thing. But thank you so much for your words and support and non-judging. It means a lot. I guess I haven't burnt my last Adventist bridge after all. We go way back. And I remember everything. Thanks for still being my friend. It means a lot.

And Stacey and Nic and Heather - You know I love you all so much. Thanks you so much for being there.

I've been so sleepy from some of my meds that on my days off like today and yesterday I just spend a lot of the day crashed. Unfortunately. Today I crashed but now I've had a Monster and am going to tackle my room. Still haven't finished it. I did however do my hair and it looks spectacular. The color is "Crushed Garnet", which I found ironically hilarious (Garnet is my mom's name) and knew it was the color for me.

Got two books from my friend Hairy. Hairy is my wonderful, intelligent, generous, pure heart, been through ALOT of shit, hippie friend. We've had many conversations. We've talked a lot about death. I have this fascination with it. I think its been since my dad died. But I have this twisted fascination with it. Its like a car accident. I don't wish it on anyone, but if its going to happen I want to see all the gory details.

Hairy has loaned me "STIFF - The Curious Life Of Human Cadavers." Looks fascinating. Not enough pictures though.

We've also had a lot of "religious" discussions. Hairy has studied a lot. Asked a lot. Questioned a lot. And I think has had more resources than me, or at least known how to access them.

He also loaned me "The Dark Side of Christian History." Which goes from 100 BC through the Dark Ages, and so forth. All the stuff I was never taught. Just heard bits and pieces of from normal people who were actually taught history. Fuck, when I watched "300" I didn't even know it was a true story and how it molded who we are today. I need this book. And it has so many foot notes and resources. I am so excited about it. I chose to read it first. Even over the rigor mortis, rotting and decapitation. You know I must love it if I chose it over those three. (And "Wicked" has got placed on the back burner. Priorities you know.)

The kids start school on Monday. Of course I'm not ready. Kirk is actually buying them a lot of school clothes this year. All 3 of them. So if you are reading this Kirk, thank you. It really helps. I'm not drinking any more, but the financial effects of the last two years are not going to be fixed overnight. So thank you.

I've been spending more time with the kids. This was one of the major problems of my drinking. I was either out somewhere or at home blacked out or fighting. So it has been nice. Just sitting watching TV or watching them play their game. They play "Oblivion". I just think it fucking rocks that my girls love this game. And they kick ass at it. Ryan loves it too. We have the X-Box hooked up to the living room TV with our big flat screen TV and the 7 point surround sound. Its fucking awesome. Its a great game. Kind of like being able to pop yourself into "The Princess Bride" and "Dungeons and Dragons" all at the same time. Tyler hibernates in his room with Halo once in awhile.

I know a lot of parents and people would disagree with me, but whats new? I think summer break is all about staying up all night, sleeping all day, playing video games and hanging with friends.

I think I am going to try and make Tuesdays my day. I am going to try to go to yoga again every Tuesday, and also Tuesdays are Karaoke at Pat Murphy's, which I love - strangely. When I don't work on Wednesday mornings I will do these.

17 days sober.