I've found a very comforting and fitting term. "Spirit".

"Spirit" to me means that Universal energy that is out there - and lets me include my form of "god". I don't have to denounce "god" that way. It is God. It is Life. It is the Goddess. It is Spirit. The "I Am" is actually a pretty good term for it. God speaking alone. No biblical bullshit interpretation or human philosohpical definition. The I Am. The Energy. The Goddess. Life.

Sometimes Spirit is quiet and unassuming, gently trying to influence me from the perimeter.

Other times Spirit decides to print it on the front page of the Arizona Republic.

http://www.azcentral.com/community/phoenix/articles/2008/05/02/20080502mihs0502.html

Yeah, I don't need much more of a sign to know I shouldn't be there right now.

Everything in its time. When its time to go back, it will be clear. Like this. Didn't listen to my gut, still questioned it. I guess I need a full page spread in the Republic to convince me to quit pushing in that direction. Thank you Spirit. I will listen. The time will come, I feel, when it will be right. And if not, there are better things.

I should send Maria a thank-you note ---- she did me a favor.

Scheduled to work tonight. They usually cancel me at Paradise, but we'll see tonight. I'm actually ok with working the floor tonight. And need the money desparately.

Tyler, Sydney, and Lyndsey are at SunSplash with Kirk today. Its a once-a-year company picnic thing. They love it. Its like Sydney's favortite thing. And she is turning into such a little woman. Bathing suit looks so different this year. She is 13. That's my girl. Tayler went with Tyler this year. Tayler and I have decided we are going to move to Figi together. Ahhhh.....................

Feeling good today. Feel like painting, but need to sleep. Need to paint "Moloto Vellocet" above my Alex picture on the wall. If they cancel me tonight, will definately do it tonight.

It seems like no one is reading right now, and thats ok. I will still write - always. For me. But if someone can tell me the meaning of Moloto Vellocet I will be impressed.