My Priceless Christmas

I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas, Yule, Holiday - whatever you celebrate.

I had a good Christmas, for the most part, but I have never been less in the Christmas mood than I was this year. The year I left the church (and I left officially on Christmas Eve), and the year my dad died, it was different. But there were still things about the season that gave me joy. This year - nothing. I totally just was not into it. Not the music, or lights, or anything. Didn't put up a tree until Christmas Eve, and then didn't help the kids do it, just let them. Which was fine, but I usually really LIKE doing it. Didn't decorate, nothing. I think part of it was that I was at work like every night. I had 2 stressful days to do all my shopping for 5 kids. We did have our annual family Christmas party at a hotel though - we went to Doubletree, just 4 blocks/half a mile from our house. It was really nice. We watched movies, got pizza, did gingerbread houses, played games, and crashed. It was cool. It was nice to see my kids.

I finally have a reason for all the pain I have had since I had Cheyenne. It has been getting increasingly worse, and a few days ago It woke me up and I couldn't sleep it was so bad. It was about 5 am, and so I just decided something must be wrong and took myself to the ER. They did an exam and an ultrasound and found that my little fibroid that I knew was there has grown into a fibroid tumor the size of a peach, and that my uterus is completely retrograde, or tilted, and the top of my uterus is sitting directly on my rectum. And the fibroid is infected. Yeah, that would explain the pain. So I'm possibly looking at a hysterectomy. Haven't talked to my doctor yet, and am not sure of my options. I know that it grew from the size of a penny to a peach in 3 years, and so most likely will just keep on growing. Not sure trying to shrink it is the best approach, but am very leary to just cut my uterus out. I hate being a big girl.

Christmas Eve, I spent the whole night wrapping all the kids presents in their room, while they were in Tyler's room watching TV and decorating the tree, and I wrapped presents while Royce sat with me and we watched Its A Wonderful Life and Bad Santa. It was so nice. A nice memory for me. For Christmas, we got the kids up, everyone opened their presents, the big kids went with Kirk to his sisters house, the little kids went over to my mom's to see Peggy and her kids, and we - opting to avoid any contact with my mother or family - went to Hometown Buffet. It was so nice. No food preparation, no clean-up, and no family. Just good food, relaxation, and Royce. Ahhhhhh. Then we went and shot a couple of games of pool. That was my favorite part of the whole day, the pool games with him while drinking Jager and enhanced by vicodin that I got at the ER. Pool, Jager, and Vicodin. My Merry Christmas. It really was a lot of fun.

Pool Game: 50 cents

Double shot of Jager: $7.00

Christmas dinner at Hometown Buffet: $14.00

Avoiding family and having peace ..........PRICELESS.