I know about you.

And I know what you did.

I don't know who you are yet - but I will.

Oh, and the font - just want to type this big enough to make sure you see it. After all, you do read my blog everyday, or your spy does, at least thats what my mom tells me.

How DARE you call my mother up, a woman who is grieving over her dead husband, and spew vile to her. My blog IS public, with no regrets, she along with anyone else is free to read it, - but how dare you fuck with someone's personal life, call her up, and start shit between her and me. Do you not read it? Do you not know that there is enough shit between us already?

You have no idea what you have done. You are evil, EVIL to stir up problems inside a family, a relationship, especially one that is already so stressed and sad and hurting, and one that you have nothing to do with. To purposely get emotions stirred up, and say crap, and pass on second hand information. To just be a busy body, a gossip. Evil. Thats all you are.

I'm so angry right now I'm having a hard time typing. Not even sure what I want to say to you right now. You know who I am, but I don't know who you are. I have a few ideas. And I will find out. Between Peggy and I, we will find out. I just hope you aren't a "friend" that I'm gonna have to make miserable and destroy a friendship over. Maybe you are one of those church members who always fakes it to my face, asks me how I am doing, plays concerned Jesus lover to my face, acts nice nice to me - then does this.

If you think what you have done is doing my mom a favor, if you think it is the "right" thing to do, if you think you are doing the "christian" thing, looking out for some poor woman, Please reevaluate your sense of "the right thing." Or maybe you know you are an evil gossip, a miserable asshole with nothing better to do than to meddle in other people'e lives.

Listen up. You, or the person who just passes on the information, I will find you. And I will make your life as miserable as you have made mine. In so many ways.

Apparently, someone has been reporting back to my mom, the contents of my blog. And doing it as a 3rd person. All this time, she hasn't been angry about Royce, or me staying there, or the kids, or anything else that I thought she was irritated about. She has been angry about what I "supposedly" said about her on the internet. She wouldn't say what was said, or who said it. She would rather play passive aggressive, yelling and screaming and making comments about everything except what the real problem is, rather than confront me, ask me what I really said, and find out why, or ask me not to do it anymore. And do this for WEEKS. Months.

The stress and tension that you have caused in my life, in my home, in my marriage, the tension that my children have had to be around, is unforgivable.

IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY TO ME, SAY IT TO MY FUCKING FACE. Don't be a fucking coward, call my grieving mommy up, and tell her the horrible awful things her ungrateful little whore daughter is "saying about her in public".

Whether you are the person calling her up on the phone, starting shit, passing on 3rd hand information, or whether you are the person with the computer telling your relative or friend who is calling her up - I will find you, and you will say whatever you have to say TO MY FACE.

If I have to call every single church member, or stand up in front of the goddamned church that I revoked my membership from, I WILL FIND YOU.

And how the fuck do you know who I am? My last name is no where on there. I am Fallen Angel. My address is no where on there. And trust me, you have no idea how far I have fallen, but you are about to find out.

By being a coward, and staying silent, vile but silent, you have the advantage right now. You know who I am, but I don't know your identity. But not for long.

I can't believe anyone would read my blog, pick out pieces that they want, and only show those to my mom. Did you show her any of the good stuff? Did you show her anything about my Dad? Of course not. She said you didn't tell her about any of the good stuff. How about the parts where I'm really hurt, and care about her. How about the parts where I talk about life, and beauty, and the good things, and the beauty of humanity. Did ya tell her any of that stuff?

Well, your job is done here. You won't have to feel like she is uninformed any longer, cause I'm going to print out all my blogs and give them to her.

I was going to change things. Shut down the blog, erase it, be careful what I wrote down, tone it down a little. No. You are not going to change my behavior, or take my freedom away. All you are going to do is go fuck yourself, because I'll make sure you do.

You know - I'm trying to heal. Trying to let anger go. Trying to achieve health and peace in my life. Thats all that I really want. But sometimes I just don't know.

And I know its somebody from that church.

This is a side of me I haven't seen in a long time. I've overcome it for a long time. It is my nature, but I've realized that it really isn't the best way, and it has reared is ugly head now. I haven't felt this way since what happened with Cathy. I'm not talking about anger. I'm talking about revenge. I forgot how vindictive I can be. How much energy I can invest in evening the score, and how satisfied I am when I cause as much pain as they caused me. How much sheer pleasure I get from watching someone suffer. Don't underestimate how much energy I can invest in it. Or the secrets I know about lots of people. Or the ties that I still have with the people at that church.

Mr Claus underestimated it. He shouldn't have.

When I was younger and revengful, I had a higher power to answer to, a religious duty, a Christian responsibility to not act. To turn the other cheek.

Well, I ain't christian anymore. You will see just how NOT christian I am.

I don't want drama, I don't want fighting, I don't want problems. I want peace. And I will never have it with you around.

You have thrown the first stone.