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Life or Something Like It

Life SHOULD NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well- preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally WORN out and screaming "WOO HOO - WHAT A RIDE!!!"

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

The Curtain Rods ...

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything, cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked.

People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home, including the curtain rods.

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU??

(Thank you Joyce, once again, for making me smile. Thanks for the forward.)
Thoughts of Fallen Angel at 8:43 AM

5 Comments:

Anonymous said...

Great story
How is your new place?
Your new job?
Do your kids love it?

7/27/2006 11:12 PM
Fallen Angel said...

The new place is great. I am still adjusting to change, something I don't do very well. But the pine trees and rain help alot. It is so nice up here. The job is taking a little longer to get used to. But I will. Its just a different world from County. The kids are doing good. Better than I expected. Sometimes they miss things, but overall everyone is better and happier.

I love the smell of the pine trees.

Thanks for being proud of me, and happy for me.

I think I did good too.

7/28/2006 2:06 AM
Trailady said...

Oh my, I didn't see that ending coming!! HA HA HA

7/28/2006 11:45 AM
QUASAR9 said...

Life just a load of skid marks?
Where did you get your driver's licence?
You are supposed to accelerate gently, and break gently, no stress on driver, car, passengers, or other road users

And when you fancy a good thrashing, come over see me, ...

...

we'll put the pedal to the metal!

7/28/2006 1:50 PM
Fallen Angel said...

i really didn't understand the last comment left by quasar, but I think it was nice. Nonetheless, thanks quasar for stopping by. I just wasn't sure what you were trying to say.

Want to clarify?

7/28/2006 10:16 PM

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