Little Red Shoes

What I would give for a pair of those right now.

When Dorothy was in Oz, all she wanted was to go home - not realizing it was a dream and that she was already there. Clicking over and over, those pretty red shoes, hoping they would transport her back to where she belonged - all the while asleep in her very own bed.

There's no place like home.

Our house supposedly goes up for auction today. For some ridiculously low, foreclosed, fixerupper price. Who knows, it's not like I can bid on it.

Yesterday we went in there to get some stuff. I can't believe the stuff I left behind. I must have just high-tailed it out of there a year ago like a convenience store robber.

Syd and I had a very bad day yesterday. Lots of crying. Lots of regret and guilt. It's so weird to go into your old place, your old space, and see that someone blatantly and recklessly went through all your stuff. And knowing that it will be someone elses place. Maybe someone will buy it and rent it out. To us.

Regardless I have to move on. Have to stop crying. Have to go to work - have to keep on keepin on. For everyone.

***Update***. Ryan and Cheyenne got into the school I wanted. :)
They are loving it. They get free breakfast and lunch, there are swings, Ryan is doing better slowly, and next week we have a meeting about his goals and a plan for him. Change is good sometimes.

Maybe I just need to wake up and realize I really do have all I need, that I've just been sleeping, and haven't seen "home" even though i'm "asleep in my own bed." I have my beautiful hilarious wonderful family, my great husband, and I still have me. Maybe I just need to realize that home stays even when scenery changes.

In that case I'm home.

But good-bye and good-luck to our little 420.
And good luck to all the little ghosts trapped inside. Maybe someday they will be free.

Time to take a nappy nap in Cheynesta's bed before work tonight. And snuggle with my kitties.


It will be easier after today.