So I just finished my first week of my new job - and I love it. LOVE IT. Had 3 days of classroom and then 2 days at the actual clinic for observation. I love the patients. They are all so nice. And so appreciative. All of the staff I will be working with is not only nice, but fun. Lots of joking and laughing, even with the patients. And last but not least the management is also great. I'm waiting for the next shoe to drop - and its not. I still can't believe I work there. I actually like my job again.

Last night when I dropped Royce off at work after he brought me the car I ran into Tina who I used to work with. She was on her way up to Labor and Delivery, my old unit, and asked me to come up for a few minutes to exchange phone numbers and see everyone. So I went up with her, walked into the locker room with her, and ran into lots of friends. It was great to see everyone. They all asked me about my new job, and I told them I was really happy and how great it was, and commented on how even the management was great. Kelly leans over and says to me, laughing, "Well, just don't tell your new boss she has a fat ass" referring to one of my last comments to Maria. I said, "I just call it like I see it." Also ran in to Liz in the locker room, which surprised the hell out of her. She is Maria's little drone who cost me getting hired there a couple of months ago (blessin in disguise, so I should probably thank her). She saw me walk in for my registry shift, and the next thing I know my new manager calls me up and tells me Maria came to him and he can't hire me. In the locker room yesterday she just kind of looked at me and said "Well hello", and I said (not unlike Jack Nicholson in the shining when he says Heeeeere's Johnny.....) "I"m back - didn't you hear?" And the look on her face was priceless. She said, "Really?????????" And I said, while scoffing, "No, not really." It was great. On my way out I hadn't said goodbye to Robin, and needed to come back into the unit to do so. At the big triage window I saw Liz in triage and asked her if she could buzz me back into the unit so I could say goodbye to Robin. She mumbled something from the other room, and just looked at me, then looked away. So I repeated myself. She looked straight at me and said, "No, I can't help you Barb. I can't help you." I really thought she was kidding and said "Are you serious?" She said "Yes, I can't help you." And looked away completely ignoring me. I'm thinking she heard the fat ass comment. I'm still laughing about this. OMG what a bitch. And when you look like her you should at least have a personality - really. So I waited and Robin came up and I got to talk to her. Before I left, when both Liz and Robin had stepped away, I left Liz a little note. "Liz, Maria won't be here forever." And a big smiley face. Hee hee. Please - like I would come back now even if she was gone, but Liz doesn't have to know that. I got a huge kick out of the whole thing.

I've gotten back in contact with an old high school friend, Andrew. Which is really nice. Talked to Kim who told me she would help me try to get our class together for a get together at our reunion. She knows everyone. What they are doing. Where they are at. She always did. And she looks really really good. She said we should start a Class of 89 MySpace and try to contact people that way. Sounds like a good idea. I will start working on that. If anyone out there knows anyone from my class and where they are please give me a heads up. Its not like we had a huge class.

Between my class reunion coming up and some recent things in my personal life I'm getting obsessive about my weight. Its just unacceptable to me. I started low carb about 2 weeks ago, slipped up a little for a few days, but am back on it for the last 3 days. And its working. Like always. I've started exercizing again and working out, I'm taking water pills, doing the no carb, and totally restricting my calories. If I don't fuck up my relationship with food and my feelings about it, I know I won't do this. I just have to get used to being hungry. Trying to eat only once a day. Just enough to make this no carb thing work. I know I've started and stopped so many times thinking that that time will be "the" time. And failed. But there are some aspects to this time that I just don't think I'm going to get over. Its really messing with my head. Bad. I am determined to do anything and everything it takes, no exceptions, to lose this weight and look the way I need to look. I have to change my whole mental state to do it though. Its becoming my first and only priority. It has to be something I'm always thinking about, on some level, or I know I will become complacent and fuck up. I can't do that. Not this time.

Bought a pool for the kids for the back yard today. Its so cool. They are out playing in it now. It really is so cool. Big - 10 feet across and about 3 feet deep. Awesome.

Michele, if you are reading this - I'm really glad we got to meet. I know we will stay friends. I know the other day was rough. But things are totally better now. I would love to keep "hanging" out, on a regular basis. If you know what I mean. We'll talk. I'll probably call you tonight, if thats ok.