So I was watching CSPAN this afternoon and was fortunate enough to catch the press conference by the White House Drug Control Policy Office regarding the recently released "Report on Teen Marijuana Use and Depression." This oughta be good I thought. I wasn't disappointed.

17 year old Tayler was sitting on the couch across from me watching too.

I started listening where John Walters (Director of the White House Drug Control Policy Office) was spewing out reasons that teens do drugs. He informed us that new research shows that teens do drugs becuase they are depressed, they are moody, because of family dynamics, because of genetic makeup, and yadda yadda yadda. Actual research money was spent on this study. Thats the most disturbing part to me.

Hello, McFly ----- all teenagers are depressed and moody, have a dysfunctional family, and have SOMETHING, somewhere fucked up in their genetics.

Let me help ya out Einstein ----- kids do drugs for the same reasons everyone does drugs. THEY MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD. Its not fucking rocket science. You coulda asked me, or any other average person and saved like a million dollars that could of gone for cancer research. Or Alzheimers, or spinal cord injuries, or something else that is an actual mystery to us.

He went on to say that, and this is almost a quote, more programs have been instituted for the prevention and treatment of marijuana than all other illegal drugs put together. I said, did he just say that?????? Well, there's your problem. Stephen Hawking would be proud.

Only god knows knows how much research money was spent on THIS. But then again we don't really want to cure cancer, or Alzheimers, or anything else that the drug companies are making billions off of, do we? So we spend research funds on something that makes us look like concerned American's, makes the govenment look like they are aggresively attacking this massive epidemic of teen addiction. If doctors were prescribing meth, and cocaine, and marijuana, I guarantee you there would be no backlash or desire to cure it.

He mentioned the subject of drug legalization and pot legalization. He said that no one would get up there in opposition and say they were the spokesperson for meth legalization. That they would be "laughed out of the room." Trying to make a point that a drug is a drug, no matter what it is.

Well, I would be that person. I guess I would be laughed out of the room.

The whole background of the press conference was a huge banner that said over and over ---"Parents - The Anti Drug". Fuck, my mother IS the reason I drink.

And for all of you right-wing, moral majority, Pat Robertson loving, soccer moms out there, ----- here's my answer. Legalize drugs. Yes, all of them. Meth, coke, heroin, crack, pcp, shrooms, ecstasy, marijuana, etc. Treat them like alcohol (hell, alcohol is worse than some of them), put an age limit on them, require a lisence to sell them, tax them, and keep records like everything else. Making them illegal sure isn't working. And while you are at it, legalize prostitution. Kill two birds with one stone.

Cool Random Fact: Amsterdam has one of the lowest std rates, drug addiction rates, and crime rates. Research that one.

I'm a big girl. If I can choose to kill myself with cigarettes or alcohol, I should be able to choose to do it with meth. That should be my choice.

You should be more concerned about little girls getting raped in some incestuous, abusive, fucked up religious cult down in Texas than you are with my son smoking up a bowl.

And Mr. John Walters, spokesperson for the conference, and Director of the whole thing looks like he weighs about 270 - 300 pounds. Suspiciously looks like he's been on a cardiac monitor at some point.

Cardiac disease and stroke are the leading killers of the American people. I'm a nurse, and they shove this information down your throat at ACLS. But Mr. Walters and the whole office are probably discussing teen marijuana use over lunch at McDonalds.

Maybe they will come up with an algorhythm or cute mnemonic like they do in ACLS, like MONA
M - morphine
O - oxygen
N - nitro
A - Aspirin
for when someone sees a depressed, marijuana using teen.

How about-----------------------
A - Annie, Annie are you ok?
s - Shake
S - Say how much you care
H - Hug
O - Obtain a pee test
L - Lock them in their room
E - Eat the Big Mac that got cold while you were intervening

This is why I don't watch TV.
This is why I don't want to be a nurse anymore.

You know, I didn't want this to be long, but I'm irritated.
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Sidenote:
This is the kind of house I grew up in.
The other day my mom, with a tone of irritation and righteous dignity, said to me,
"I don't know where Ryan gets the things he says." (Ryan is 6)
(This is the part where I go, oh god, what did my child say to my mother)
Shaking her head, eye brows furled.
"What did he say Mom?" Waiting for lightning to strike.
"Him and Brandon were playing out in the backyard. Playing with little animals. And Brandon said something about two of the animals being boys. Well, then Ryan said, 'they can't both be boys, that would be gay.' Now where would he hear that? Why would he say SOMETHING like that?"
She is extremely disgusted at this point.
I looked at her and said, " Mom, things are said on tv all the time, and we talk about everything at home."
She just shook her head and went out to make dinner.

When we were talking about the polygamist compound in Texas I was talking about how happy I was the kids were taken away, that if left there their mothers would force them to live that way, and that 50 year old men were raping little girls there. Not to mention the hundreds of little boys that are abandoned because they are competition.

I made the snide comment that "At least they got the kids out this time before they set the whole place on fire" - referring to former Seventh-Day Adventist David Koresh and WACO.

She just looked at me, dismissed the comment, and said in some Stepford Wife daze, with some tired, Martha Stuart smile, " Did you see how those women made all their own bread?"

I had to leave at that point.

Annie, Annie, are you ok?

Apparently not.

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Christ, all this has made me really thirsty.
Think I need a drink.