I had a nice Mother's Day. Royce had Mimosas for me when I woke up - drank them in the bathtub. All the kids brought me their cards that they made for me. Royce got me a little cactus planter - I told him not to get me flowers, they just die. I'd rather have something I couldn't kill. And I love it. My mom had dinner at her house at 1 pm, to celebrate Mother's Day, Peggy's birthday, Lauren's birthday, and my mom's birthday - all around the same time. So of course Peggy and Rick and the kids were all there. And of course my kids all want to be there. And I'm not going to prevent them from doing something because of my issues. But the thought of having any part of that dinner made me almost physically sick. So Royce took me out to eat for Mother's day - all by ourselves. Holidays are usually like that for me - the kids all want to go over to my mom's, and I don't. I see them in the morning, they all go have dinner, and then I see them in the evening. We went to Applebee's and I had the riblet platter - one of my favorite things in the whole world. Then stopped and had a beer. Came home, saw the kids, cleaned out the garage. And then Royce let me go out all by myself and have a few drinks, and socialize, and play and flirt. It was very nice. Had a little too much to drink though. And guys are just obnoxious if Royce isn't there with me. But I had fun. Came home, watched a movied with the kids, Alvin and the Chipmunks. It was cute. And I love Jason Lee.

So that was my Mother's Day. It was nice.

I've recently broke off my very very last tie to my old Adventist life. Life happens, and sometimes you just can't go back after things are said. On both sides. And stupid issues get in the way. I'm just tired of stupid people. And finally a source of negativity, not from my dear friend, but in her perimeter and the reason for the conflict, - now that source of negativity is gone. It feels good to never have to worry about having conflict with it again. My life is totally separated now. This is what alot of the people in the perimeter have been wanting for a long time. And they finally got it. It comes at a big price though. I hate losing people.

I'm sure people from that old life who are still living that Adventist/Christian lifestyle will cross my path, and we will say hi and reconnect on a very surface area level. But never again will I let someone in that mindset and belief system in my life, my circle, my home, or my heart again.

My mom is the only one left who is anywhere close to me or in my life - and we don't speak.