Ding Dong the Bitch is - OFF TONIGHT

I need a day off.

Out of the last 6 nights, I have worked 5 of them. I'm turning into a bitch.

The patient I had tonight I had last night in triage. I didn't like her then, and I didn't like her tonight. Every time I would ask her something, mind you in Espanol - her language, she would just look at me with this stupid deer-in-the-headlights look. I know I'm speaking Spanish. She just didn't want to answer me. Annoying as fuck.

So we get to about 3 am, mom is fully dilated and has been pushing for 3 hours. I've been in this woman's crotch for 3 hours. And it is decided the baby is not going to fit. Just another blossom in the garden that this night has been.

I need a day off.

The doctor, who is all of about 25 years old, was condescending and insulting all night long. She accused me of things, ordered me around, and basically talked down to me all night. She was in high school when I started nursing. And finally Little Miss Doogie Houser shot me down in front of her med student drones AND in front of the patient when I asked a perfectly logical and expected question about the patients plan of care. Fuck her.

I need a day off.

Then the blood bank called to let me know they rejected the blood I had drawn and sent down because the label that the printer printed out was a little off, and they "couldn't" read it. We all could read it. Luckily smart little Barb had drawn an extra tube. We were waiting on this result before we could take the patient back for her c-section. I hung up on the blood bank girl.

I need a day off.

So Miss Doogie Houser calls me up demaning that the attending physician wants to know why we aren't already back in the OR with the patient. Blah blah blah, blah blah.

I think a pap smear with a blow torch would have been more pleasant than work tonight.

We were a little over staffed and it was an extra night for me, so when given the opportunity to leave early I did. Gave my c-section to Cindy (God and the Virgin Mary and Ghandi all bless her lovely soul) and I left at 4 am. I had the cell phone with me, and my bike was still at work, so I decided to ride home.

Note to self - riding bike is not good when in the "growing out" phase of preparation for a Brazilian wax.

I'm just not a good nurse when I get like this. And I really really want to be a good nurse. But I'm going TO FUCKING KILL SOMEONE. And that would be a very very bad nurse.

I need a day off. And I got it. I took myself off of being on-call tonight.

I want to work at Walmart.