Well now, life is never dull on the homefront, now is it? Entertainment abounds, which actually is making my life a little more bearable right now. And the beautiful part is, I don't even have to exert any energy to make it happen. All I have to do is sit, and watch, and smile. (And make sure they see me smiling.) When dysfunctional people are left alone, they provide an abundance of entertainment.

Now it isn't my usual nature to laugh, especially point and laugh, at those less fortunate than me. However, when those people are my next door neighbors, who have caused me so much stress and ass-pain, who have increased my blood pressure yet have decreased the value of my house just by being next door, who have brought everything on themselves - well then, I allow myself the guilty pleasure.

We've been joking about Teresa running a drop house. I think this is the right term. The term meaning, if you are not acquinted with Arizona terms, a house where the mexican smugglers stash the illegals that they have brought up here from Mexico, and hide them in a normal looking house, some 40, 50, even 70 mexicans at a time. The houses get busted and they find like wall to wall illegals hiding, sometime no food or water or anything.

We started joking about this because when the city gave her a citation for the filthy condition of her house, they also provided help - a crew of hispanic workers to help her clean up. I was told there were like 40 of them at her house for a few days. Well, it seemed she never really got rid of them, every day we would see all these mexican guys over there, and no cleaning was going on anymore. They just never seemed to leave.

So yesterday,- and this is where the story gets good, where it goes from informational to entertaining,- Royce is sitting out on our front porch, taking a break from working on the house. This mexican guy in Teresa's yard approaches the fence and starts talking to Royce. They guy looks like he is from a village somewhere deep in Mexico. He proceeds to try and start something with Royce, kind of aggresive, all 130 pounds of him, and in his very broken English asks Royce what the problem is between us and Teresa. So, to the astonishment of Pedro, Royce replies to him in perfect Spanish. Royce continues to tell him about the filth in the house, the citations with the city, and the baby that was removed from the house. Pedro informs Royce that if there is a problem that the men should work it out - to leave Teresa out of it. Mind you, we haven't had any contact or problem with her in months, she must just be stewing over there. It must just totally obsess her. This whole conversation is like out of the blue. So anyhow, he goes on to tell Royce that this is his "esposa."

ESPOSA - direct English translation = spouse.

OH MY GOD - Teresa has gone and married a little illegal who just wants his green card. I thought I was going to pee my pants! This is just too good. He referred to her that way like 3 times. He's probably got a wife and like 12 kids back in Tiajuana that he is supporting by being here. And you know conditions in Mexico must be deplorable for him to agree to live with much less marry someone like her. This one is just too much for me.

So Royce proceeds to tell him that there isn't a problem right now, because she did clean up some, but when there is a problem he won't be coming to Pedro with it, he will be calling imigration.

Suddenly --------------------- no more problem.

Problem went bye-bye.

He actually was pleasant after that and shook hands with Royce and everything.

About a half hour after it happened, I found out about it. (I was so pissed that I missed it.) As Royce is telling me the story, she is pulling up in the driveway. I have to go outside. I just have to. I'm standing on the porch and watch her get out of the car. She is glaring at me, I'm dying laughing - and Pedro walks up to her. She starts yelling about me standing there, I'm still dying of laughter, she starts yelling at him, and he proceeds to yell something in espanol, pushes her, and commands her back into the house. And she goes, glaring at me and cussing the whole time. She sure does spew those cuss words for such a religious person.

Oh am I going to have FUN with this one.

Its going to be a Happy, Happy Halloween.

(I told Royce we need to befriend him. Take him to the strip club. Come on Pedro, lets go have a cerveza.)

So, so much fun.