The trip up north was so nice. We really needed it. We got there at about 5 (stupid me decided to travel on Friday of Memorial Day weekend). Showered - we hadn't had time to shower yet that day, drove up in the sweaty miserable heat (we have no air conditioning in the van yet), then got there and showered. It felt so good. Soft water too. My hair was so soft - and looked fantabulous after I washed it. Relaxivated for a few, checked out the cabin - it was so nice. Drove to Prescott to have dinner at the Prescott Brewery. Walked by the town square (they were having an arts festival). Walked down Whiskey Row, stopped at the Bird Cage Saloon where Royce had a couple of drinks. I drove back to the cabin. Called home to check on the kids. Got in the jacuzzi, had wine (3 bottles), cheese, strawberries, window open so the cold air could come in, and stayed naked in the jacuzzi and watched tv for like 3 hours. It was so nice. Went to bed. Had spectacular sex.

Woke up at about 6, to a blue and pink sky and birds, stayed in bed till about 8. I was not going to waste that morning or that cabin sleeping. Got up, made coffee, went out and sat out on the porch. Just listened to the birds, the wind, the sound of cars passing on the highway. Saw a bunny. Drank my coffee. Sat out there a long time. Thinking. Got something to eat at the lodge. Got back in the jacuzzi before we had to check out. Royce got a picture of me sitting in the heart shaped jacuzzi with bubbles up to my neck.

Decided to explore a little. First went to Arcosanti. I was totally speachless. Its the architectural experiment started in 1970 by architect Paolo Soleri which combines architecture with ecology, called arcology. Its amazing. The things they are planning are amazing. It will look like something out of Star Wars. If you would like to see it go to: http://www.arcosanti.org/. They have festivals and concerts, and a restaurant, and sell wind chimes. Beautiful wind chimes. They are planning on making it a city. A huge, state of the art, huge community that has a different outlook on life. Conservation of resources and state of the art technology. Its amazing. I love it that they strategically placed it half way between Los Angeles, super-consumerism, and Las Vegas, super-hedonism. I love that thinking.

Ended up at Young's Farm where they were having a pie festival. Saw animals, bought some taffy for the kids, walked around. Drove into Prescott, stopped at Bucky's casino, blew 50 bucks. Drove around Prescott for awhile, ended up at Links Lake. Its so beautiful there. We used to go there so much as kids, with my dad. It was one of his favorite places. We would divert there when we were up at Campmeeting. My dad will never be able to go there again. I was sad and happy there at the same time. I took some pictures that I'm going to blow up and give to him. He may not even comprehend what I'm trying to show him, but I'm going to do it anyhow. Maybe for his birthday. Its next week.

Left Prescott. Drove back to Mayer, had dinner at the Harley Davidson restaurant. Killer burgers. Great music - I knew every song, like thats surprising. We WILL have one someday. Someday we'll be driving up there on our bikes.

Drove home.

I knew we needed some time away from life, from work, from the house, from stress, time for ourselves, just Royce and me - but I didn't know how much. We spent every minute together, with no responsibility, no deadline, no housework, never once did we have to be somewhere or do something at a specific time. 3 hours naked in the jacuzzi. Yeah. I don't realize how important it is to nurture relationships. They aren't just going to be ok. You have to make sure they are ok.

I want to thank Joyce for suggesting Creekside Preserve. We loved it and will go back.

I want to thank Megan too. Megan is Robin's daughter and babysat for us the whole time. A babysitter that you can trust, with your children, your house, who is mature enough to handle whatever happens when you are gone, who is good with little kids, who the kids like, who won't trash the house or let the kids trash the house, who will make sure they eat and go to bed, who keeps them safe - PRICELESS. Invaluable. Thank you so much. We so hope you will do it again. (We finally have a babysitter - we are so excited !!!!)

I did alot of thinking on this trip. On the way up, on the porch, in the jacuzzi, driving around. About alot of things. Had some people on my mind. Karl and Sharon. Spent alot of time inside my head with that one. Learned some things about myself. Some things I didn't like, but at least now realize, and now can change.

Heather, I've been thinking about you alot too. Alot. I hope you are ok. I know you will be ok. I think you know in your heart what you need to do. Things aren't always black and white. People will say that they are, but they aren't. If you can do the "perfect" thing, then that is great. Its beautiful for everyone. But if you know in your heart that it can't ever be that way, then you know. I don't think you can live a lie. And actually, I respect you more for that. I'm making a rule for myself. I'm never going to give advice unless it is asked for. You asked me what to do. I think you need some time by yourself to think. I wish I could take you up to the cabin we were just at. It has a way of making the right things obvious. Something about being alone and sitting in nature, and listening to the breeze. Something about that makes things very clear. I know your heart is hurting. But I think you already know what you need to do. The fact that you are hurting just means you have a soul.

I've been thinking about my mom too. Worried. Not sure she is ok. Regretting what has become of us. Wondering how much I will regret when she is gone. Wondering who is right, her or me. Wondering if it matters who is right. Wondering if that ever matters.

Heather, I will always be there for you. If you need to hit the Brass Rail again, and again, and again, I'm there. And when you knock on my door and say, we're going to Jerome, its time - I'm there. Let me know. There are two songs that keep running through my head when I think about you. The song from Toy Story (I love that movie) "You've got a friend in me", and "Amazing" by Aerosmith. I'm going to give you my Get a Grip cd with Amazing on it. Listen to it.

Gotta start really preparing for the race Tyler and I are doing. June 17th. Gonna eat good today, exercize - hard, and do yoga. I found my tape. I'm so excited about the race. We've got to work now.

Trailady, I don't say much always to you, but I've been thinking about you too.I don't know you other than online, but I consider you a friend. I always love your comments, and think about you. Thank you for always being kind. You have a gift for making people feel better.

Deb, hope you are feeling better. 30 pounds? OMG, that is so awesome. I am so totally impressed. You are inspiring me. Sorry about your fish. Our beautiful Shadow (my big black lab) had a huge grand mal seizure in the living room the day before we left. We were so scared and so upset. We thought we were going to have to put him down. He is ok though.

Nikki, got your letter. Read it in the Harley restaurant. I love you. You did the right thing. I'm sorry its hard. I love you. Thanks for the picture. They are beautiful.

To my girl Angelina, Congratulations on the baby!!! I'm so happy for you. Little Shiloh. What a cute name. (Hope you got the epidural). I see so many deliveries that are less than desirable. Not the greatest experience. I'm so glad she had everthing perfect, exactly how she wanted it.

Gotta get moving.