I'm feeling a little better. Its my good week though. We'll see in 2 weeks or so, lol.

Can't wait to get the hell out of Phoenix. 3 weeks.

Its weird. I've been around people alot lately, working alot. But I have been so "inside". Just thinking. Thinking alot. Some want to know if I'm "okay". LOL, little do they know! Hah! I must have a very good work "suit" that I put on every day. It must be better than I knew. Maybe its threads have been worn out lately. I'm showing through. Need a new suit.

Too many thoughts in my head.

Too much spinning.

I think sometimes just being at work brings things up in my head. Memories. Scenes. Mental photos. Some not unlike crime scene photos, others like those in a memory book. I have my hair in a long braid tonight. I needed it out of the way. So Wanda braided it for me at the beginning of my shift. I can never wear it that way and not think of her. I guess when I do it at work its that much worse. Ok, gotta stop crying at work. I'm in my little corner right now, the "hole" as we call it. But that could be disturbed at any moment.

Need quiet. Probably need sleep.

My hearts are hurting. Both of them. The beating one and the inside one. The beating one hurt all the way to my back earlier. Scares me a little. Took an aspirin.

Paralysis is a little better though. (See, the glass is actually half full. Full of what though?)

Gotta keep the picture in mind. The vulture. And the epiphany that happened, that I never wrote about.
Life is too short. Its critical to discover the important things.

I've had alot of quiet tonight. This is good.


Sydney and Lyndsey both won the Earth Day art contest at school. I'm so proud of them. Lyndsey got 1st place and Syd got 2nd place. Kindergarten through 8th grade.
So proud.