I have a sense of peace today. I'm learning how to do that better. Not sure if its the week I'm in, or just that I'm getting better at it. Not going to question it, just going to enjoy it. I'd like to think I'm getting better at it. I know what you think Karl. Very much in my own little world today. All energy concentrated on "my world", my space, my inner circle. I think thats where I am my best.
Spent the night in the ER with my mom last night. Yes she is ok. Its weird how when something could be wrong, relationships change. I'm glad she is ok. I wish things could be like that between her and me all the time.
I'm actually going to do some yoga today. I never find the time to do it, so I'm just making the time today. And to exercise too. If I don't make it part of the schedule it will never happen. Just do it. Think Nike. I know it will make a huge difference in everything.
Went to the co-op this morning. Got Organic cage-free eggs, vege tofurky links (its actually really good, reminds me of "prosage"), and some oatbran/blueberry muffins. I love the co-op. I really want to eat and live like that. Simple, better, healthier. I'm sure that will make a huge difference in everything too. Had some Jager with my breakfast too. Ahhhhhhhhh, Jager - always makes me feel better. Good way to start the day.
Going to work on my posts outside a little. Its a huge project. A huge home improvement thing that will make a big difference in the front of my house. Gotta put stripper on and chip away. Right now they are a dark hunter type green, and peeling. I'm going to change them to a bright, yet deep mediterranean blue, with the other accents out front, in contrast to the blue, a orange/red earth tone color. And I'm going to do them right this time, not the way Kirk and I did them before. It will be very nice. Will strip and scrape the one post that I already started a few weeks ago. Got five posts to do.
Yesterday we cleaned the back porch and the garage, which is actually an extra room now, the workout room, we just still call it the "garage". Royce used TSP on both, and got it really clean, it was so dirty. Now it looks great. It took the whole morning. Working on the yard too. Starting to water and get grass growing for the summer. This next paycheck I'm starting my garden. It will be an above the ground garden, plants in containers. Nothing elaborate, just some vegies and herbs. Want to grow a pumkin for Halloween too. I've been wanting to do a garden for awhile.
The girl's are finishing their first week at their new school. It's gone ok I think. Its still new. It is still unfamiliar. I've very proud of them for changing schools half way through the year. I hope it was the right choice. Tyler has a dance to go to on Valentine's. How foreign to me. Not sure he really wants to go. It will be good for him.
Nikki, I still have your flowers up. The roses are dying, but the others are still kinda ok. They are still pretty. I'm glad you are recording with K. I'm sure you guys sound great. Still working out? I need to do more. Really NEED to, inside and out. Maybe more for the inside.
Cathy, I've been thinking about your mom. How is she? I hope she is ok, but I'm feeling like she is not. I've been feeling like that for about a week now. Not sure why. Is anything different? I would like to go see her, would that be ok? How is your job going? Email me.
Karl, might work on the song a little today. Its going to take me awhile.
Royce, love you baby. I think I'm finally learning how to chill. I'm so glad I have you. We need to get away. Soon. Let's plan that day trip up north with the kids. Except maybe stay overnight in like Payson. Lets do it in 3 weeks.
Going to work tonight. Better get started on all I have to do.
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We could stay in the realy nice Holiday Inn up there. We should stop along the way at Garlic Paradise and pick up some bread, oil, and cheese. I have been needing to get the hell outta' this city for a couple of weeks at least. The only good thing about Phoenix is my family and friends, otherwise this place could be the gateway to hell!! Northern AZ however is so diverse and still open and beautiful. Glad i could introduce you to Jerome. Bisbee is next. Love you!!
I don't have the greatest relationship with my mother either...and it results in very unnecessary anger toward eachother, i haven't quite figured out exactly why, or how to fix it, but it really sucks...and life is going by too fast.
Glad your mum is ok. :)
Shellibells, I am not trying to sound stereotypical in saying my nother-in-law is a bitch, but she is!! She told our children we were going to hell because we ate catfish one night ( she beleives it to be unclean meat ), literally sat our kids down and told them their parents were going to die. That is the most minor tip of the iceberg, I could recite story after story, I really am sorry about you and your mum, I harbor very little ill feelings toward people in general. We all are just trying to make it through the best we can. When my bitch-in-law dies finally I don't think I will be that sad!
Hey Barb, I haven't forgot you!! Working days has been my lifesaver. I feel more alive now than I have in 6 years. I have got my peacefulness spot back, so I know what a great feeling that is. You keep thinking that it will leave you at any moment, so you have to just live in the moment eveyday. So many special things happen when you do that. I read this interesting article about how fast life zooms by especially if you don't live in the moment. It said before you go to sleep everyday, ask yourself 3 questions: 1. What is the one thing I am grateful for today. (Yeasterday, it was me being spontaneaous and jamming out death metal in my car with the kids jumping around in the back having the time of their lives. Most of the time, I would have been so moody from my sleeping pattern, I would have been like, get in your goddamn seats NOW!!!) 2. What do I look forward to tommorow? (Me, today was going to wal-mart and putting all our camping stuff on layaway. God, nature is sooooo really calling me. Its great.) 3. What would I like to dream about tonight? (haven't actually got to this one yet, By the time I get to this one, I am either usually getting laid, asleep, or one of the kids is screaming:) At first, I just read it and was like, that would be cool. Then, I fould myself doing it. It says if you do this, time will slow down, You will remember more about your life and have greater clarity of mind, more memories. Oh, I would really like to do one of these blogs, thanks for the idea. It seems very liberating.My name will be midnight toker if I ever get to it. I will let you know!! Ps. I left that great magazine with all those awesome articles at work dammit, sorry!! Heather
I was raised in a religion that was VERY negative. There was NO good in the world, everyone was the enemy. I was told that I was going to hell when I got my ears pierced. These people mean well, but they are unwell. Just let it roll off your back like a duck in a rainstorm.
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