Happy Valentine's Day !!!

Happy Valentine's to everyone. Just havin a chilled, laid back nice day. Sometimes its very hard for me to chill. I'm making a point to chill today. Getting better at it. Royce got me a very nice card and some chocolate. We are low on money and decided not to do anything for valentine's, except get the kids a few small things. Just something to remind them that I love them. But Royce and I both ended up getting each other a card and some candy. I was going to work tonight, but it just didn't feel right to work on Valentine's night. To be away from my Valentine and my children. We had an argument yesterday. Yes, Royce and I actually argue. Actually more than you might think. So its very important for me that we have a very nice, close, day spend together at home. Its been nice so far. Just doing stuff around the house, but its one of those days when the whole day is foreplay and leads up to a very intimate night. Its such a beautiful day here in Phoenix too. About 75 degrees, beautiful. It feels so good to go outside. I think I will work a little in the yard, Royce has already been out there doing his workout, and maybe go for a walk tonight at sunset. I think I'll go with Royce, just us two, and walk to the Chinese center. Then maybe come home and watch a movie with the kids and do game night. They love game night. Then maybe watch a movie together after they are all put away to bed.

Bought a yoga mat. The other day I did yoga outside on the concrete. It was wonderful to be outside, with the sky above me, and the birds singing, and the perfect temperature. But the concrete is very hard, and very cold. I'm anxious to try out my mat. Its purple and very spongy. The kids were playing with it last night. Yoga is something so simple, not simple in technique but in idea, that makes such a positive difference in my whole life. It costs nothing, and gives me so much. I'm excited about my mat. Going to do that this afternoon too. I'll probably do some resistance stuff too. So yes Cathy, I am still exercising. Not as much as I should be doing, but getting more faithful with it. I so need it. Probably more on the inside than the out.

I've been thinking about the comment that Heather left me. I'm going to start asking myself those questions. I can so see you Heather in the car with your kids. Heather is one of those people that in my opinion truly has her head on straight. Her heart, and soul, and mind are completely balanced and happy. She is truly a free spirit, she always does what she wants to do, never is restrained by someone else's opinion of her, or of what she is doing, is not held back by others, never restrained by social or cultural taboos, or no-nos, is completely sexually, sensually, and emotionally free. And she doesn't seem to have to work at being free, she just is. She is intelligent, honest, beautiful physically and on the inside, honestly caring, and spontaneous. I can learn alot from her. She is one of those people I choose to surround myself with. I'm lucky to have her as a friend. I'm going to think about those questions.

I got the pictures of your nephews Nikki. They are so cute. Thank you for sending them. And yes, I'm ok. For some reason, I'm ok. I'm learning to change my whole perspective on things. In alot of ways am very introverted and introspective. Just enjoying my life, my relationship, my children, my home. Those are the things that are balancing out all the negative, the darkness. All of that is still there, just concentrating on my "inner circle". My space. It probably helps that I have now totally cut myself off from any kind of connection I had to church and certain people. I want to hear more of the music you guys are doing. I'm going to comment on your site. Just need some time to sit at the computer. Maybe a little later tonight I will. I'm really glad we are keeping in such close touch. This blog thing is wonderful.

I'm just becoming less and less concerned with material things, not that I ever was, but making other things, such as living healthy, exercise, my relationship, my children, my home, reading, music - "my" music, my soul, making all of those things the priority. Living in the moment. Money is simply a necessary evil. My soul however is something that I have to live with forever, what determines what kind of a person I am in this world, and what detemines how my children and friends remember me. My soul alone determines what I contribute to the world around me and what kind of quality of life I enjoy.

I've been keeping myself safe. Safe from the toxic. Staying in my world. Staying in my place.

Tyler has a Valentine's dance to go to in about an hour. Should be interesting.

Going outside now.

Shellibells, I went to your blog and did that Johari window. I kind of remember it from Psych class. Very interesting. I did one for me too. I don't know how to do what you did though to get people to do mine. Thank for showing it to us.