somewhere over the rainbow way up high
there's a land that i heard of once in a lullaby
somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue
and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true
one day i'll wish upon a star
and wake up where the clouds are far behind me
where troubles melt like lemon drops
away above the chimney tops
that's where you'll find me
somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly
birds fly over the rainbow
why oh why can't i
where troubles melt like lemon drops
away above the chimney tops
that's where you'll find me
somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly
birds fly over the rainbow
why then oh why can't i
Listening to Tori Amos.
It always surprises me how much I cry when I listen to that song. When she sings it.
Thats where I want to go.
Whoever doesn't understand the darkness thing, its because I'm not there.
And you won't get it till you hear her sing it.
The place where nothing bad is.
Comfortably numb. The next best thing.
Do you ever have those epiphanys (did I spell that right?) in life? Those moments when everything makes sense, or at least finds its place? I remember watching "The Wall" for the very first time. In Cathy's living room. I was just in shock and totally amazed that someone else had been where I was. I felt like I had somehow come home. Someone else lived in the same place I did. That was that first year out of high school. Yeah, that year, for those of you that remember. And there has only continued to be more and more bricks in the wall. My wall. My beautiful, safe wall.
Hello
Is there anybody in there
Just nod if you can hear me
Is there anyone at home
O.k.Just a little pin prick
There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship smoke on the horizon
You are only coming through in waves
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying
This child is grown
The dream is gone
And I have become
Comfortably Numb
I have become comfortably numb
Hey you, out there in the cold
Getting lonely, getting old, can you feel me?
Hey you, out there on the road
Always doing what you're told, can ya help me?
This is the center of my dark. Probably shouldn't be writing right now. Makes the wall come down.
Nikki, I'm so sorry about Keaton. Its one of those dark things. I was going to write tonight about the animals. Somehow got off track. I will though. I really am sorry. It's so hard.
Cathy, I understand more than you think.
Karl, hope you're listening. I'm speaking, are you listening? If there ever was anything, anything worth anything, I hope you are listening.
Royce, you are my salvation.
Royce, this is truly my song to you. Me, naked. Closer.
You let me violate you
You let me desecrate you
You let me penetrate you
You let me complicate you
Help me
I broke apart my insides
Help me
I’ve got no soul to sell
Help me
The only thing that works for me
Help me get away from myself
I want to fuck you like an animal
I want to feel you from the inside
I want to fuck you like an animal
My whole existence is flawed
You get me closer to god
You can have my isolation
You can have the hate that it brings
You can have my absence of faith
You can have my everything
I have no soul to sell
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Tori Amos - You know, I have seen her perform that several times. I have sung it like she does even. Tori has an amazing ability to re-translate songs and bring out new meanings that we never knew were there. See: Hello by Nirvana, or Magic Man by Heart. She takes them and of course it's just her and the piano so it sounds different, but then she takes a deeper trek through the song, finds the heart and flops it out there on the piano top for us to see/hear. If you've never been to a Tori Amos concert you need to go. She has mellowed with age, since getting married and having her daughter, Natashya Lorien, she is not so angry all the time, but man oh man if you listen to Precious Things or God, you can feel the emotions. I've seen her 9 times and I never get over her. She's a tiny little thing, the last concert I saw, well it was outside in downtown Portland with abotu 2000 people, an impromptu thing, but the night before we were in the front row and she was about 20 feet away. I think the only other person I've talked about their piano playing as much as Tori is you. I always remember sitting in those little tiny practice rooms and listening to you take Chopin for a romp. You have something that not very many people do. And I'm glad you still go there. It's the part of your soul. The blackness that you tap into. Thank you for your words about Keaton. It's better today than yesterday but I still woke up with tears. Royce, I can't say that it was easy being in that room at that very precious time. I wouldn't blame your brother if he didn't go, I felt dis-embodied for a bit and nearly hyperventilated when I got to K's car. It was exTREMELY difficult. But I was looking into his eyes and he in mine when he died and he died purring so I think that will be a solace someday. Meantime I have a little fat black cat named Reilly who doesn't really understand why the old cranky man isn't around anymore but she LOVES getting all the attention. It is raining today, I think I want it to rain for a while. It's like the sky is crying with me. Anyway, yeah, you guys should live here. I would love to just hop in the car and drive over and sit and chat. Meantime I'll see what prices are on tickets and let you know. You will see me this year.
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