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Life or Something Like It

Life SHOULD NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well- preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally WORN out and screaming "WOO HOO - WHAT A RIDE!!!"

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

I wasn't very good yesterday. I ate bad, pizza and stuff. And I didn't run or exercize
in any way. I was going to run, but by the time I got around to it, which was after dark, wussed out and decided it was too cold out there. Where do I live again? Really, it was cold yesterday. So today I'm going to do better. I woke up feeling like crap too. So here's to a better day. I can't wait for time to magically happen, I have to make time to work out. So I'm going to run during the day today, whether housework is done or not. I have to make it a priority. And I'm going to force myself to do some resistance exercises with Royce. Maybe Biceps and Tris. That sounds good. I don't like waking up feeling like crap. Of course the reason I stayed up too late was well worth it, trust me. If I'm in better shape I'll be able to tolerate those late-night/early morning sex fests. Yeah. Thats motivation. ANYHOW.............. And I was really hungry this morning, and wanted a hostess cupcake. I was good, and decided to have something good. I'm currently cooking a veggie burger and zuccini in olive oil, all ingredients organic. Yeah, I know, zuccini in the morning is weird, but I'm weird, and I like it. Yesterday was such a bad day for me during the day. I don't know why. I think its hormonal. I did pretty well at rising above my desire to be cold and despondant and sit at the bar all day. I was moody, but I think pleasant overall. I think I hurt Royce's feelings though. So sorry Baby. Its just those hormones. I'm learning how to live productively with them. I know the experts say there is no correlation, but I swear bad things happen after you tie your tubes. Everything is so much worse. I'm sure losing some weight and getiing healthy will help that too. I didn't do any of those things I was inclined to do yesterday, I cleaned the kitchen, did some touch up painting in the kitchen, which today looks so good, took the kids for a walk, and helped everyone get ready for school today. I did eat pizza, and have a McDonald's ice cream cone though. It tasted so good though. Today is a new day. Deb and Nikki and Royce, I failed you yesterday. Will do better today. It actually helps to know you guys are with me. We can do this. We will do this.

We watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith last night (I'm sure that helped to get us both in the mood - love you honey). The third time I've seen it. It just exudes sexual tension. We saw it the very day it came out last year, May 15th I believe.

There are a few movies coming up I really want to see. I wasn't sure about Brokeback Mountain, but I saw the preview and it looks wonderful, and I've heard only good things about it from people who have seen it. I think it won best picture a couple of days ago didn't it? At the Golden Globes? I think its one of those movies that tests what you are made of. If you are evolved enough to celebrate the beautiful human moments even though you don't totally understand something. The world would be a very different place if we all did that. To be able to relate to everyone one on a human level, to be able to look past differences and feel the things that we all have in common as human beings - love, acceptance, rejection, fear, secrets, and peace. No matter who we are, what culture, what race, what gender, what age, what belief system we all have these same basic needs and struggles. So hopefully I will get to see that one soon.

I was so excited to find out that Captain Jack Sparrow is coming back. Pirates of the Carribean 2, Dead Man's Chest, is coming on July 6,2006. I can't get enough of Johnny. He is an incredible actor. That should be good. And I saw that they are already planning a 3rd one. That was my favorite ride at Disneyland. Gotta see it.

I really would like to see Walking the Line, the story of Johnny Cash.

Karl suggested a movie on his blog, www.karlslittlesoapbox.blogspot.com (hope its ok Karl that I just did that) that I haven't seen, called Rabbit-Proof Fence. Seems like a powerful movie. I will have to see that one too. Where can we get the movie Karl? Let us know.

And a movie that I've been meaning to see, which is on pay-per-view right now, Crash. I think its another one of those movies that tests who you are. Difficult to watch. But I think you come away from it learning things about yourself. And that is always time well spent. I plan on watching it tonight. I think I will have my kids watch it with us. Its about racism, and prejudice of many kinds, and real life. I know alot of people probably disagree with me, but I do not protect my children from real life. I want to teach them how to live well IN it. My children need to be kept safe - physically, mentally and spiritually. But I don't believe keeping real life from them is doing them any favors. They have to live in it too, and it is important to me to be honest with them. Education. The most powerful protector I can arm them with. Education, honesty, and unconditional love. Those are my goals with my children.

My next question. Maybe a little frivolous, but thats ok. Talking alot about celebrities and movies lately. Here's my question:

==========================================

Question # 4:

Do we have a right to invade the privacy of famous people? How far is too far? What rights do they have? What is acceptable and not acceptable to expose about them? And ways of getting that information? Should they be an "open book" because they are in the public eye? It is their choice after all, right? Is it not a small price to pay for all of their fame and fortune? Is that just a hazard of the job?

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Tomorrow is my Ryan's birthday. He'll be 4. I can't believe he is already 4. I have been so blessed by him. Learned so much about love from him. Unconditional, pure love. And the whole relationship that has developed between Ryan and Royce is so wonderful. It developed so unexpectedly for everyone. Thank you Royce. You have gone far above and beyond what even a wonderful person would do. I love you for it - More than words can ever say. Even Kirk loves Ryan - imagine that. You just can't not love Ryan. Its impossible. That text in the Bible that talks about having to become like a child to enter the kingdom of heaven, was talking about Ryan. I haven't seen a more pure heart. His birthday is tomorrow, but party will be on Friday. Gotta wait til payday so I can make it really good for him.

Thoughts of Fallen Angel at 9:21 AM

3 Comments:

Royce said...

You are a nurse and a damn good one at that, you are a patient advocate when no one else will be, you are the only one who still remembers Ann, so compare your job to an actors, you work with the public, your thoughts and concerns, your state of mind, your home life, your hormones, everything that you hold as a personal, affects how you do your job. So how would you like your patients to interview you to see if you were going to be a good nurse during a delivery, do you have a drug problem, how much do you drink a week, how is your sex life, how many sexuall partners do you have, do you think you give enough money to charity. Think about being in that position in front of your co-workers, your most personal details displayed for say Dr Chamblis to hear, and a patient might actually have the right to ask, it affects their health afterall, now imagine your answers did not satisfy your patient, so she started bugging your mom, stalking you, taking pictures in front of a bar you came out of, finding ex-boyfriends, asking them for interviews, PAYING them to spill dirt on you...........gives you a new insight does it not. Our constitution gives us a certain amount of freedoms in ths country, the right to happiness as long as you're not interfering with someone else's hapiness for one. So no I think we don't have the right to dig into celebrities lives, they have th right to show us only a public face if they want, one of the greates tragedies in this country was how the media treated the security guard who found the bomb at the olympics, he should have been a hero for saving people, but they destroyed him in public, and when he was cleared of ALL wrongdoing they made fun of him for living with his elderly sick mother. I hate the popular media, they reinforce stereotypes (can you say New Orleans), they openly judge people without getting the facts first, and they help to spread fear, all-the-while, as people are eating this up they don't realize they are not safe from the prying eyes of the histerical media frenzy the less intelligant members of our society feed upon. ( How did the media treat Joyce Britt again). That's my two cents

1/17/2006 1:42 PM
Red said...

Wow, Royce's 2 cents count for a lot in my book. First and foremost, you are not alone in the pizza department. I was bad yesterday too. I worked out and then came home and ordered a pizza. No, 3/4 of it is still in the fridge but still...Tonight I had soup and fat free yogurt and water. AND worked out. Anyway,
celebrity is a weird thing. I think America is really the main place on earth where we thrive on the woes of others. That's what the celebrity thing is. That's why idiots get paid millions of dollars for pictures of stars without makeup or without clothes (remember the picture of Patrick Swayze diving into a pool with the tip of his you-know sticking out of his swimming suit?) If there wasnt' a market for the crap there would not be the problem. I feel bad for them actually, no not the money, they make amazing amounts of money and we get to pay amazing amounts to go to the movies. But they deserve a private life. They deserve to make mistakes and not have them plastered on the magazines everyone sees at the check out. They deserve to go through break-ups in solitude (dude, can you IMAGINE being Jennifer Aniston this last year? my GOD!) It should be and is NONE OF OUR FUCKING BUSINESS who is sleeping with who and who went to the grocery store in sweats. But there they are, the pictures in People and US, and Star, and all the other rags. These are the people who hounded Princess Diana to death. There is a line that was crossed long ago that I think happened because we started to want reality everything. It's like we aren't happy with our own lives, we need to take someone else's life on. Well, its' sad. It's pathetic. Sure, its' nice to see someone beautiful looking like crap, makes those of us who dont' look like them on our best day feel a teensy bit better about ourselves, but come ON. Karen Carpenter starved herself to death because some stupid a-hole called her chubby when she was a teenager. Rebecca Shaffer got gunned down in her own home. Imagine your worst mistake, the one thing you wouldn't want anyone to know. Then imagine it being plastered EVERYWHERE. Yes, they deserve their privacy. They also deserve to behave themselves when they are in their official capacity. Hard to take someone seriously if they look like a freshly opened can of tuna. OK, I think that's about 87cents. :)

1/17/2006 9:48 PM
Red said...

OH, absolutely the most important part of the comment - HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET RYAN!!!!!!!!!!!!

1/17/2006 9:51 PM

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