One Day At A ......... Well, you know

Yesterday was bad. Really really bad. I was a mess. I think it was a combination of not sleeping, drinking a lot, and my hormones - which I already know are a mess, and its right before my period. I think a lot of it was hormonal, and the alcohol and no sleep just pushed me over the edge. I just want to feel better. I decided last night that me drinking is having too many consequences and I will never get healthy if I keep doing it. I missed my yoga class last night, cause I had been drinking most of the day and I probably could have went, but was exhausted from not sleeping, and in the middle of falling apart. So I didn't go. I hate it that I didn't go. I decided last night to stop drinking. It really bothers me to think I will never have a great glass of wine again, but I need to stop for now. I am going to quit for a year. It will allow me to get healthy, will way lower my tolerance so I will be able to actually enjoy a reasonable amount of alcohol without it taking half a bottle of tequila to feel it, I will save money on alcohol and on going out, I will spend more time with the kids, I will fight with Royce less, I will feel better, and I will be able to lose weight easier. Now that I actually listed all those reasons its making the picture a little clearer. I am not perfect. This will be hard for me. And not to sound cliche-ish but, I'll have to do it one day at a time. And if I "slip" - I will make sure and not "fall". I'm not trying to set myself up for failure, or give myself a loophole, I just have never really tried to stop, I know its difficult, and I know I may give in. I'm choosing to be realistic and if I give in, to not fall in but to just keep going anyhow. It works for me. I hope.

This is the first day into it and the only thing I feel is the results of yesterday's drinking. Not really hung-over - that's how you know its bad - I drank yesterday what would put most people into a coma, and not even hung over. So not feeling bad today, actually a lot better mentally, but I know the next week or so will be hard.

So I'm starting February 27.

Other than that, I have to help Lyndsey with her Science project today. We decided to do an experiment that studies cheese - to find out which cheese molds the fastest. Finally - a school project I'm good at. I've become a semi-pro at molding things my whole adult life, just check out my fridge at any given time. We are going to glue 6 different cheeses on a board and just let them sit and grow little friends. Exciting, huh? We named it "It Ain't Easy Being Cheesy". I'll let y'all know which cheese you can leave out the longest.

Went to the bank today and got my checking life organized and on target. That feels good - or should I say "positive."

Made arrangements to get the car payment caught up - that feels good too.

Cleaned the entire car today inside and out. It was such a pit. It is such a nice car, the nicest I have ever had - a luxury minivan. Its too nice to ever let get nasty. But I do - all the time. It feels good to have it clean. Baby steps.

Signed up to work tonight. Cross your fingers.

If Amy Winehouse can stop, I guess I can too. That glass of wine on February 27th next year is going to taste PHENOMENAL.