Darcy

Lost another pound. Its day three of low carb and its finally past that hard stage, that craving stage. I'm keeping track of calories this time also, so that should help. And I'm exercising. I'm making sure to get my vegies in, not just protein and meat. And I'm feeling pretty good.

Work plans have changed a little. I will be working 16 in a row, not 14. That way I will have all 14 days of this pay period on the check. Cha ching. I'm behind on my mortgage though, so that should help. Unfortunately I won't be able to go to Susan's Christmas party. Maybe next year.

I'm hoping to be able to stay in a hotel one night close to Christmas with the kids and have our little family Christmas party. They love that so much. It really is fun. Maybe the week before.

My manager asked me to do a Tarot reading for her on Wednesday when I come in to work. So I need to brush up on it a little. Haven't done it for awhile. And I have them here with me tonight. I usually always have them with me. I hope its a good reading for her.

I brought my Wicca Almanac and my Herbal Almanac to study tonight. Still reading the book by the Farrar's. Its called "The Witch's Bible". Very detailed, much more "organized" than my eclectic preference, but I am learning alot. I know I will never have a male partner to do things with, and thats ok, but alot of their stuff incorporates that. I'm pretty happy being solitary, for the most part, but I still want to learn everything I can.

I still talk to god. However crazy that seems. God, Goddess, whoever it is. I am open to whatever "Truth" is, - thats the problem I just don't know what it is. I do know my new way is real and truth to me. And I no longer ignore or deny things that are obviously real, but were "warned" against - taught to ignore. So that is where I am at. Finally feel like I have some kind of something to stand on. And I'm finding more and more that I'm not alone. "There are more of us than you think."

Its weird how life brings people to you. Darcy is one of the nicest people I know. We spend alot of time together at work. She has 5 kids like me. All grown. She has been married 5 times. Had alot of shit in her life. Has a great outlook on life. She would do anything for anyone. She is always offering me a ride home, or bringing me something to eat, or making me something. She is the most genuine giving person I know - right up there with Royce's mom. One of the girls got kicked out by her boyfriend, and Darcy took her in without a second thought for a week. And Darcy is Mormon. Once again my stereotypes are being challanged. Darcy knows where I am coming from too. We talk. She knows how I believe and the things I do. She sees the necklace I wear. The books I read. She is never judgemental, never advisory, never tries to "save" me. Never. She always listens to me and I could tell her anything. Like the mom I never had. Just had to mention it. There is so much negative, its nice to find something so positive, and I think those kinds of things always need recognized.

I am doing things to get healthier. Feel good about that. This should be my bad week and it hasn't happened yet. I'm finding it takes a conscious choice and daily focus to maintain this. Lots of changes. Lots of cleaning out. But I feel good. And the weight is coming off again.