I'm still a little bit in shock, last night it was really bad, - I bought a car!!! Yesterday I had no idea I was buying a car. And now I have one. We took the van to the shop yesterday because it had been smoking, smelling like fuel, and we were hoping it was a head gasket (whatever that is), and found out it was going to be like a $4000 repair, cause we needed the whole moter rebuilt. And thats not even fixing the air conditioning, the shocks, the oil leak, which all badly need fixed, and it has like 213,000 miles on it so you know like the transmission is bound to fall out at some point soon. Another $4000 eventually. I was upset, but figured we had to fix it. Our loan had just funded that day, and we had the extra cash. Royce was just glad it happened when we did have the cash (he is always looking at the positive, hard for me sometimes). So we get to the mechanic to talk to him, and when we tell him we are going to fix it, he just kinda looks at us. He didn't recommend fixing it, and didn't even charge us anything for diagnosing it. So, we decide to go look at new cars. I've always felt like no dealership will ever approve my loan, but Countrywide just did, and the apartments just approved us, so what the hell. Royce wanted to go to Kia, cause they have the cheapest yet safest minivans. Cool. We'll go look. To make a long story short, they tell us they can't approve us for a brand new one ($28,000), but wanted to know if we would be interested in a preowned one. Sure, why not, its better than the piece of shit gas guzler that is broken right now (but I loved my piece of shit, it really was so cool). So we find one, they run the numbers, and wah lah, we are approved!!!
Holy Hell, thats all I could say. I just sat there in semi shock, Royce kept asking me if I was ok. I kept waiting for them to come back and say.....Ummmm, no, sorry we were looking at someone elses credit report, or we had the paper upside down, or I'm sorry we made a mistake. But time kept passing, and I signed the papers and here we are. Once again, everything just worked out so well, above and beyond what we even were hoping for. I tell you, someday I will have to write about all the little things that have happened with this move. Its been so weird. They wanted to sell us a DVD player for the van for 1800, but it would minimally change our monthly payments. We said sure, I kept thinking about the kids. It would be so nice to give them a car that had a dvd player in it, like some of the kids they used to know at Tempe School. I remember once they rode in Jennifer Zirkle's van (rich and snobby soccer mom) for a field trip, it had a dvd player. They thought it was so cool. I think she thought she was doing some kind of missionary work by letting the little ghetto kids ride in her precious car. At that point we were driving our beat up little red car that we bought from Kirk, a two door, 4 seater that not everyone fit in, and that had no air, and was really old. Its actually the one we drove to Louisiana, imagine that. I never thought I could give my kids a car like that. So they tell us its a done deal, we just have to make an appointment to come back to have it installed. After about a half hour, they come back and tell us it can't happen, the bank wouldn't approve the extra charge. Oh well,it was just icing on the cake, we just wanted a vehicle. So we sign all the papers, clean out the old van, I'm still in shock, and we drive home. On the way, Royce is looking around, pressing all the buttons, and flips down something on the roof. Wah lah again - a dvd player. When we got home, we put Nemo in, and it works!!!! I'm still in shock.

And we had a title loan on the old van. We were short money, took out a title loan at one of those cheesy auto loan/payday loan places a couple of months ago. What do you do? You need money. The interest is like 20%, yeah ungodly. And the new dealer totally paid it off and is doing all the paperwork and took it as a trade it. Another head ache and bill gone.

We are going up to Prescott today, staying the night, I have a pre-employment test I have to do tomorrow, and we are maybe going to sign the lease and check on how to get utilities turned on. And it gives us an excuse to stay up in the pines at a motel. I love motels. The kids love them. Its just a little treat.

The car is so sweet. You don't understand. I am so not high maintenaced enough for this car. It has a compass, tells you what direction you are going - this is good for Royce. It tells you how hot it is outside (I mean come on, I can roll down the window and put my hand out). It has the beautiful dvd player with surround sound. It has power everything - a button makes my seat scoot us, lean back, or move up. It has cruise. It has rear air - I have never had a car that had rear air. It has door on each side of the back, so easy to put little ones in, we have a car seat at each side of a door now, no more crawling in to put babies in - what a pain in the ass. The sliding door closes at the press of a button. With another button the trunk opens and closes, and beeps when it is opening so no one gets bashed in the head. The radio has a digital printout that tells you what station you are listening to, what band is playing, and get this, what song is actually playing. And I'm sure there are other things I am forgetting. Way high maintenance for me. But I love it.

You don't understand, the kids have been driving around with no air conditioning in Phoenix, for about 3 years,to those of you who have never lived here, you have no idea. It was just a luxury we didn't have. And never got fixed. I was just glad to have a car that ran and that everyone could fit it. For so long, before the van, we either had to make two trips or sit on laps. And recently the electrical stuff stopped working, and the front passenger window wouldn't go up any more, so was constantly open, and the same door (my door) wouldn't open, so I was having to crawl in from the back to sit in the front. (Yeah, we were pretty ghetto). For so long I have just dealt with stuff like this, only having the money to fix the really necessary things, like the brakes etc.

You have no idea what this vehicle means to the kids. I'm so ashamed that it has taken me this long to give them something like this. They deserve it.

My mom really hurt my feelings. We finally got home, ready to surprise everyone with it, we knew the kids were going to freak, all she could say to me was, and yelled it, "Did it really take you all that time to buy this car?" I said yes, it actually did. She stomped back in the house (we drove over to her house cause she had been watching the kids while we were gone). I think she is coming back out to see it, she never comes. So I go in, and say "Don't you even want to see it?" She yells and says, I don't have time to see it, your dad had a bad day, I'm dealing with all that, I don't have time, I'll look at it tomorrow", and walks away. No congratulations, no its so pretty, no Let me see the inside, no I'm so happy for you. So I leave. She totally blew me off. And yelled at me. I came back a little while later to pay her some money that I owed her, handed her the money, and said "You know, would it kill you to ever be happy for me?" So she acts like she doesn't even want to deal with me, and accuses me of starting a fight. I tell her this is exactly why I am leaving.
And then walk out.

Not gonna waste anymore on that one.

And no she can't see it tomorrow, I won't let her.

I'm going to drive so fucking far away that I never cross her mind.
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I love my van.

Get to sleep in the pine trees tonight. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.......